Feel overwhelmed sometimes with the loneliness and isolation that can come with being a caregiver? Let’s be honest. This life can be hard at times. It can feel like no one gets what you’re going through, making you feel cut off from the rest of the world. You’re not alone!
This month is Mental Health Awareness, and what better way to address our mental health than to tackle loneliness and isolation?
There is no hard-and-fast rule on how often we need to engage, but generally, humans tend to feel better around other humans.
But for caregivers, this can be challenging. Sometimes we can unintentionally distance ourselves from others, making it hard to keep connected. So, how do we juggle all things caregiving and still feel in touch with the world around us?
Here are a few things I’ve found useful for reconnecting with others.
Create a Caregiver Community
If you follow my blog for a while, you’ll hear me say over and over how important it is to connect with other families and caregivers who have loved ones with disabilities. It’s a MUST! There’s something about being around people who “get it”.
There’s no need to explain why your child is jumping up and down while flapping his hands or apologize for running late because your teenage daughter couldn’t leave home without her favorite baby doll being found. They understand. They’ve been there too.
There’s comfort (and freedom) in knowing you’re not alone in these shared experiences. Being a part of a community has been a lifesaver for me! It’s kept my isolation in check through the years and provided my family a safe space to be us.
Tips on Where to Start
If your child is still in school, I found connecting with other parents in your child’s class a great place to start. In the past, I’ve contacted teachers to find out which classmates my son connected with and asked the teacher to share my contact information with those parents. Arrange a playdate and just like that, you’re on your way to starting a community!
If your child is no longer attending school or in-person meetups aren’t your thing, check out online communities as an alternative. Facebook is an excellent platform for finding local parent groups or support groups (more on this in a bit).
I belong to two local Facebook groups, which have kept me engaged with our local disability community. One of them even arranges occasional gatherings for moms to socialize! Whether you create a physical or online community, it doesn’t matter, the key is connecting locally.
Join an Online Support Group
Local in-person disability communities are great, but if you can’t venture out of the house as often as you’d like, online communities are an excellent option too. Online forums, parent groups, virtual events, and workshops can provide a safe space for sharing experiences and getting advice from others who understand your struggles.
Some blogs like Finding Cooper’s Voice offer a paid subscription parent group called Coop’s Troops, or free Facebook groups like The Autism Dad’s Special Needs Parenting and Tales from an Educated Debutante’s Tales Moms of Special Kids are some great choices.
If you want to connect with a community that caters to a specific diagnosis there are options for that as well. Online forums like The Mighty are great for asking questions and getting advice from other parents and caregivers whose loved one has a similar diagnosis.
When you’re talking about online communities, the sky is the limit!
Reach out to Family and Friends
Family and friends may not always get what we’re going through, but having a cheer section can make a world of difference. Chatting about your feelings, daily experiences, and challenges can help them see the world from your point of view.
Of course, there will always be those who won’t (or don’t want to) understand. But from my experience, it’s typically not that family and friends don’t care, but because they assume you have everything handled. If we don’t communicate our needs and desires, others won’t know them (I’m still working on this myself).
Speak up! Let them know that you want to be included or that you need them to check in on you from time to time. Communicate your needs!
Focus on Your Mental Well-being
I’m going to be completely transparent. Being a caregiver can be emotionally draining at times. Pair that with being an introvert by nature, and sometimes the thought of “peopling” exhausts me. So, before we can think about socially engaging with others, some of us may need to prioritize our mental well-being first.
Sprinkling self-care habits into your daily routine is a wonderful way to care for yourself. And it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant either. These simple and quick self-care tips can help you recharge, feel your best, and start socializing again.
Revive Your Interests
Just recently, I’ve started painting again. It’s been a minute since I picked up a brush (um, like 33 years), but challenging myself has been so fun. Not to mention being able to use my right brain for a change! 😁
Dedicating time to activities that bring us joy can help us keep a sense of self outside our caregiver role. What interests take you to a happy place…painting…gardening…reading…dancing? Whatever it is, do it!
This can also open a door for us to join a club or class, whether online or in-person, giving us another chance to connect socially and build a community with like-minded people who share our interests.
So, be intentional. Carve out some time to do the things that feed your soul. It’s not selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being and your relationship with the world around you.
Final Thoughts
Juggling all things caregiving while trying to stay connected with the world around us is hard stuff, I get it! But don’t give up trying.
If done right, socializing can be like a mental spa day for our brains! Even if you can only spare 10 or 15 minutes a week to start — that’s good enough! I promise you, it will have a positive mental impact. Remember, you’re doing a great job!
What are some ways you have found helpful to reconnect with others?
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